The universe speaks in mysterious ways.
Sometimes, from your backside.
Unlock the ancient wisdom hidden in your wind. Record, analyze, and receive mystical fortunes from the sacred sounds of your soul's release.
The Sacred Ritual
1
Record Your Offering
Hold your device's microphone close and release your gaseous prophecy into the digital ether.
2
The Guru Awaits
Our ancient gas mystics decode the acoustic patterns, volume, and resonance of your sacred emission.
3
Receive Your Fart-une
Get a dramatic reading complete with personality analysis, past life revelation, and mystical artwork.
The World's First Flatulence Fortune Readings
Personality traits, past lives, career advice & oracle prophecies
Mystical F-Artwork
One-of-one (non-repeating) sacred art based on your unique emanations
6 Wind Legend Voices
Dramatic text-to-speech characters read your fortune aloud
Share Your Wind Globally
Social fart fortune sharing cards to spread the mystical wisdom
Features
- One-tap recording with automatic analysis
- Mystically powered fortune generation
- Stunning mystical artwork for each reading
- Save and revisit your sacred readings
- Works with farts, burps, or any other mystical emissions
✦
First Fart Reading FREE
or
$2.99/mo
Cancel anytime · Unlimited fart readings
No credit card needed for your free reading. $2.99/month subscription, cancel anytime. Secure payment via Stripe.
Install FartGuru
Add to your home screen for the full native experience. No app store needed.
Every Reading Reveals
- Your Fortune Sign — Which cosmic symbol does your wind embody?
- Hidden Personality Traits — What does your gas say about who you really are?
- Echoes from Past Lives — Glimpse the souls you once were
- Professional Destiny — Your true career calling, revealed by your rear
- Lucky Elements — Colors, numbers, and spirit animals aligned with your essence
- The Oracle Speaks — A sacred prophecy just for you